Thursday, 26 June 2014

BUILDING RESILIENCE IN YOUR CHILDREN

Some key messages to communicate to your child to help them become more resilient:


  1. Life is good, but now and then everyone has a difficult or unhappy time.  That's a normal part of life.
  2. Things nearly always get better, even though sometimes they may take a bit longer to improve than you would like.  Stay hopeful and work on the problem if you can.
  3. You will feel better and have more ideas about what you might do if you talk to someone you trust about what's worrying or upsetting you.
  4. No one is perfect.  All of us make mistakes and finds out there are some things we can't do well.
  5. If you can find something positive or funny in a difficult situation, no matter how small, it can help you cope better.
  6. Take fair responsibility for the thing you have done or not done that contributed to a difficult or unhappy situation.  Don't over-blame yourself because circumstances, bad luck or what others did may have contributed too.
  7. If a situation can't be changed, you just have to accept it and live with it.  Don't make yourself miserable by exaggerating how bad something is or by assuming that the worst possible picture is the one that will happen.
  8. When something goes wrong it will usually only affect one part of your life.  Concentrate more for a while on the things in your life that are still going well.
  9. Everyone gets scared at times but not always about the same things.  Facing your fears will help you to grow stronger.
  10. Don't let yourself by 'hijacked' by your feelings so that you are no longer in charge of yourself.  Find a way to calm yourself down so you can think of the best way to deal with how you are feeling.
  11. You can change a bad mood into a good mood if you try.  For example, you could:


    • re-think the problem in a more helpful way
    • go for a vigorous walk or undertake some other form of exercise
    • do something kind for someone else
    • go over some good memories by looking through photographs
    • watch a funny TV how or DVD or read something funny.


An excerpt from :  Resilience:  helping your child to 'bounce back' by Toni Noble & Helen McGrath

Monday, 9 June 2014

Course Guide - Parenting

The following link, found on the Parenting WA website, contains course information relevant to parenting pre-school, primary school aged and adolescents during June and July 2014.  Courses are held at various locations around Perth and are brought to you by local organisations including Relationships Australia, Centacare, Parenting WA and CLAN.  

Topics are interesting and varied and include "Communicating with your Teen", "Boundaries", "Healthy Body Image", "Kids and Today's Technology", "1-2-3 Magic & Emotion Coaching".

I encourage you to take a peek at the course guide and engage with the services in your community as much as you can - they are there to help you!

Parenting WA Course Guide - June/July

Relationships Australia - Upcoming Workshops

DADS RAISING GIRLSThursday 3rd July 6.30-9 @ 22 Southport Street, West Leederville
Find out how you can build a rewarding father-daughter relationship. As the primary male role model in a girl’s life, fathers play an important role in the development of their self-concept and self esteem.  This affects how they relate to others, particularly to boys and men.

MUMS RAISING TEENAGE BOYSThursday 3rd July 6.30-9 @ 1 Ord Street, Fremantle
However well-prepared mothers are logically, the emotional response to having a boy is often still, ‘Wow!  This is unknown territory.’  It is true that for many mothers, the idea of raising a son carried its own set of worries. As the primary female role model in a boy’s life, mothers play an important role in the development of their son’s identity including their ability to be nurturing.  For teenage boys in particular, this on-going relationship with their mothers has long term implications.  This in turn effects how they relate to others, particularly to girls and women.

For further information please phone 9489 6322 or go to:

Relationships Australia - All Courses and Seminars



Friday, 6 June 2014

What kind of face do you present to the world?

What kind of face do you present to the world?


It is not surprising that a positive attitude helps you to cope more easily with the daily affairs of life. It brings optimism into your life, and makes it easier to avoid worry and negative thinking. If you adopt it as a way of life, it will bring constructive changes into your life, and make you happier, brighter and more successful. With a positive attitude you see the bright side of life, become optimistic and expect the best to happen. It is certainly a state of mind that is well worth developing and strengthening.

There is a story by Charles Swindoll who wrote about Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the USA from 1801-1809, who was crossing a river that had overflowed its banks.

Each man crossed on horseback, fighting for his life against the raging waters. A lone traveller watched the group traverse the treacherous river and then asked President Jefferson to take him across. The President agreed without hesitation. The man climbed on, and the two made it safely to the other side of the river.

One of the travellers asked the man, “Why did you choose the President to help you?” The man was shocked, admitting he had no idea it was the President who had carried him safely across. “All I know,” he said, “is that on some of your faces was written the answer ‘No’ and on some of them was the answer ‘Yes’. “His was a ‘Yes’ face.”

What kind of face do you present to the world – a ‘Yes’ face or a ‘No’ face?

A boy who wrestled as a sport wasn’t very good for a long time. His father would tell him that it was because he didn’t want to win, explaining that wrestling was a mental sport and if you didn’t have the ‘want’ to win, you never would. Later in life the boy realised that his father was talking about the difference between having a desire to win and being willing to do what it takes to win. There is a big difference. We all have many desires, but the truth is that we are not always willing to do what it takes to get them. They stay wishes, not goals. We have to be willing to do what it takes to get there.

A person with a ‘Yes’ face is willing and open to the opportunities of change. We can all begin to make the choices, however small, that will start us down the new road towards what we truly want. When we begin that change, the change is always for the better. Mahatma Ghandi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world”.

We begin the process of becoming who we truly can be – facing the world and all its challenges with a ‘Yes’ face. Yes to all the possibilities of our individual and unique life.

“The most significant decision I make each day is my choice of an attitude. When my attitudes are right there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme and no challenge too great.” Charles Swindoll

The advice is there for all of us . . . . Being open to become the best person we can be by choosing to be positive and love others.

So what does a "yes" face look like?  Perhaps it's kind and caring.  Perhaps it isn't all wrapped up in itself.  Maybe the body language of a "Yes" face says, "How can I help you?"

Another approach might be that a "yes" face is one that says Yes to God's goodness; yes to His presence; yes to His comfort; yes to His love.

All of our College patrons, Oscar Romero, St Mary MacKillop, Ursula Frayne, Frederick Ozanam, Irene McCormack and Rosendo Salvado presented a 'Yes Face' as they faced enormous challenges in championing the plight of the poor, marginalised and indigenous people of their time. They all demonstrated what can be achieved through a 'can do' attitude.

As parents and teachers, we need to be conscious of the type of face we present to our children and students. Do we present a face that inspires a willingness to do what it takes to succeed and not just a desire to succeed? 


For the good of our children, our friends and ourselves let’s all practice having a “Yes” face.

Source: Principals' Digest, Vol. 16 No. 52 - Acknowledgement: Charles Swindoll 
Mr P Collins, Vice Principal

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

The First Duty of Love is to Listen

The First Duty of Love is to Listen

When I ask you to listen to me and you give me advice,
you have not heard what I asked of you.
When I ask you to listen and you tell me why I shouldn't feel as I do,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen and you feel you have to find solutions to my problems, 
I feel let down, strange as it may seem.
Please listen.  
All I ask is that you listen - not talk or do or advise - 
Just LISTEN.

Advice is cheap.  I can get that anywhere.
I can do that for myself.  I'm not helpless - maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and reinforce my weaknesses.
When you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel,
however irrational it may sound to you,
then I can quit trying to convince you, and I can then explore this irrational feeling.
When that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
My irrational fears make sense when I can discover what's behind them.
If you listen and understand I can work things out for myself.
So I ask again.  Just listen - and if you too have something to say, be Patient - then I'll listen to you.
SOURCE: UNKNOWN

Managing rejection

The following information is inspired by 'Tuning into Teens' - Emotionally Intelligent Parenting.

Certainly one of the challenges of parenting teenagers is managing your own reactions when your teen tells you that you "just don't understand", or criticises you for being a "rubbish parent" or when your teen rejects you and tells you to "go away" and leave them alone.

If this is the case, remember the following:


  • Teens will often say things in the heat of the moment.  Don't take their words personally or assume this is what they are always thinking.  Pushing you away is often part of them learning to have their own voice and becoming an adult.  Sometimes teenagers can be very hurtful when they are asserting their growing independence.  
  • Notice your own reaction is vital - is it anger, hurt, worry, distain or dislike?
  • Take a big breath!  Remind yourself that this is a natural part of adolescence.  Try to reflect back the feelings behind your teen's statements:  eg. if your teen says "I hate you!", you could respond with "You are really angry with me because ..."
  • Teens can sometimes make hurtful comments.  Try to manage your own feelings in the moment, and talk to another adult about your emotional responses.


By NOT reacting with anger and an attack, you convey to your son/daughter that you accept their feelings and their independent opinions.  This will help keep the line of communication open and means that your teen is more likely to talk to you about the issue later when they are ready.

Useful statements to try during challenging moments might include:


  • "Okay, you might not want to talk now, but I will be here if you want to talk about it later."
  • "I can see you are pretty annoyed right now.  I'm happy to listen if you want to talk it out some other time."
  • "Wow!  It sounds like you are having a really tough time."
  • "You might need a little time to think things through.  We can chat about it later if you want."