It's almost the school holidays and as
parents you are probably all too aware of sibling conflict that can come
from your children being at home together for longer periods of time.
I recently came across this advice from Parenting Ideas (published last year)
and thought these tricks may be helpful to you as you work towards coaching your
children in the art of resolving sibling conflict peacefully, or at least with
a minimum of noise and disruption!!
- Encourage them to read their siblings so they can avoid negative situations. This is all about avoidance and stopping fights before they start.
- Teach children how to set boundaries. “You can come into my room but you have to stay out of my toy cupboard. Ok?”
- Praise problem-solving. Make a fuss when they work things out peacefully whether it’s compromising, taking turns or one child just giving way.
- Help children identify the triggers for getting upset themselves and also when their sibling is likely to lose their cool. We all have hot buttons that when pressed will trigger and over-reaction. Help kids work out their hot buttons.
- Reinforce with kids that they need to regulate their responses when a sibling presses their hot buttons. Kids don’t have to fight, argue, yell or whatever when a sibling gets up their nose. Give kids alternatives to their war-like responses. “Go to your room if he continues to annoy you.”
- Teach respect. Respectful treatment is at the heart of civil relationships. Keep reminding kids to treat each other with respect; stick to dignified behaviours and also to stay within the rules of fair play.
- Ensure restitution. Perhaps the biggest lesson kids can learn is to restore a relationship after conflict. “How can you fix this?” is question many kids need to hear.
Parenting should reflect real life as much
as possible. In the world outside families, people don’t always like each other
but they do need to get on with each other. These lessons about getting on are
best learned in your family as a child.
Happy holidays everyone.
Warm regards
Jo Betti, HCC Social Worker
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