Lost in Concentration - article from "Parenting Ideas"

Lost in concentration

by Michael Grose

Electronic devices such as tablets and mobile phones are ever present. They are heaps of fun, the source of so much knowledge and a great way to stay in touch with others. The flip side is that their hypnotic effect is powerful so that frequently all our concentration is directed at them rather than our kids.

There are five BIG opportunities available to you as a parent if you choose to be in the moment when you have children.

1. Build their language

Recently, I saw a mother walking side by side with a young toddler playing a simple language game. She would make a sound with her mouth and her young son would mimic her. This is language building at its most natural and finest, and wouldn’t have happened if this mother was on the mobile phone rather than being present with her child. Whether you are with a toddler, primary aged child or a teen the language building opportunities are endless. You just have to focus on the one you are with and let things happen naturally.

2. Teach your children about their world

Most children are naturally curious and will ask lots of questions. “Why do dogs bark?” “Why is the sun round?” “Where do babies come from?” Yes, some are simple, some are hard to answer and some you are just not ready for. But it’s through these simple interactions that you become your child’s first and most important teacher. 

3. Impact their thinking

Influential British educator Charles Des Forges says, “If you want to influence your child’s thinking then you need to talk to him. If parents want more influence then they need to talk more to their children.”  According to Des Forges it’s through the conversations that parents have with their children that they impact the way they think, as well as influence their values. Nothing kills personal conversation with a child or young person like a mobile device.

4. Build relationships

Relationships are built through common interest, good intent and respectful behaviour. I can think of no better reason for being in the moment with your child than the opportunity it presents to build some common interest and rapport.  It’s reassuring to know that you’ve made plenty of deposits of goodwill to draw on, particularly in the tricky teenage years.

5. Build memories for you

As a parent of adult children I now treasure the memories of times I was fortunate to have spent with them as young children.  It’s strange how these memories resurface at the most unexpected time. Recently, I was in a supermarket and I remembered the time when I enthusiastically asked my youngest, who was three at the time, to get the box of cereal with the big red K. Off she went feeling all important and returned with a triumphant smile armed a box of dog food. “Thanks darling. Nearly!” was my reply desperate not to quell the enthusiasm to help that only a three year old can have.

The key to positively influencing your kids, building strong relationships and building enough fond memories to last a lifetime is to make sure that your mind is where your body is and be fully present when you are with your kids.