Lost in concentration
by Michael Grose
Electronic devices such as tablets and mobile
phones are ever present. They are heaps of fun, the source of so much knowledge
and a great way to stay in touch with others. The flip side is that their
hypnotic effect is powerful so that frequently all our concentration is directed
at them rather than our kids.
There are five BIG opportunities available to
you as a parent if you choose to be in the moment when you have children.
1. Build their language
Recently, I saw a mother walking side by side
with a young toddler playing a simple language game. She would make a sound
with her mouth and her young son would mimic her. This is language building at
its most natural and finest, and wouldn’t have happened if this mother was on
the mobile phone rather than being present with her child. Whether you are with
a toddler, primary aged child or a teen the language building opportunities are
endless. You just have to focus on the one you are with and let things happen
naturally.
2. Teach your children about their world
Most children are naturally curious and will
ask lots of questions. “Why do dogs
bark?” “Why is the sun round?” “Where
do babies come from?” Yes, some are simple, some are hard to answer and
some you are just not ready for. But it’s through these simple interactions
that you become your child’s first and most important teacher.
3. Impact their thinking
Influential British educator Charles Des
Forges says, “If you want to influence your child’s thinking then you need to
talk to him. If parents want more influence then they need to talk more to
their children.” According to Des Forges
it’s through the conversations that parents have with their children that they
impact the way they think, as well as influence their values. Nothing kills
personal conversation with a child or young person like a mobile device.
4. Build relationships
Relationships are built through common
interest, good intent and respectful behaviour. I can think of no better reason
for being in the moment with your child than the opportunity it presents to
build some common interest and rapport. It’s
reassuring to know that you’ve made plenty of deposits of goodwill to draw on,
particularly in the tricky teenage years.
5. Build memories for you
As a parent of adult children I now treasure
the memories of times I was fortunate to have spent with them as young
children. It’s strange how these
memories resurface at the most unexpected time. Recently, I was in a
supermarket and I remembered the time when I enthusiastically asked my
youngest, who was three at the time, to get the box of cereal with the big red
K. Off she went feeling all important and returned with a triumphant smile
armed a box of dog food. “Thanks darling. Nearly!” was my reply desperate not
to quell the enthusiasm to help that only a three year old can have.
The key to positively influencing your kids,
building strong relationships and building enough fond memories to last a
lifetime is to make sure that your mind is where your body is and be fully
present when you are with your kids.
