Some Interesting and Upcoming Courses for Parents

Are you looking to enhance your parenting skills, strengthen your relationship with your child and gain more confidence in your parenting in general?  You are not alone!  Being effective as a parent is not automatic and is always demanding and challenging.  There's no 'instructions', but there ARE courses and workshops and there is a wealth of information out there for anyone interested.  

Why not consider a parenting workshop, run by experienced and trained professionals?  You'll be able to share your own ideas and experiences with other parents, build your confidence and develop some important skills  

Relationships Australia offer a range of workshops throughout the year, call them direct to book and check out their website for more information at http://www.relationships.org.au.

“Mums Raising Boys” – up to the age of 12 years

Cost:  $25 pp

Time:  6:30pm – 9:00pm

Venues: 

Fremantle:  Thursday 1^st May 2014 

West Leederville:  Tuesday 29^th April & Wednesday 23^rd July 2014

Joondalup:  Wednesday 14^th May 2014

"Kids and Today’s Technology"

Cost:  $35pp/$50 per couple

Time:  6:30pm – 9:00pm

Venues:

West Leederville:  Monday 9^th and 16^th June 2014

Fremantle:  Thursday 3^rd and 10^th April 2014

"Parent-Child Connection"

Cost:  $50pp / $75 per couple

Time:  6:30 pm – 9:00pm

Venue:  West Leederville:  Mondays 9^th, 16^th, 23^rd, 30^th June 2014

Parenting WA also run courses and there's a 2-session course coming up called "Engaging Adolescents”.  To be held on Tuesday 17^th and 24^th June, from 9:15am – 12 noon at the Altone Public Library, Beechboro.  It's free!

Is your child new to school this year and still struggling with some separation distress?

Separation distress or anxiety is quite common - changes of environment, people, routines and the number of other children they are interacting with can all cause spikes in the hormone cortisol, which creates the stress symptoms that you may see – crying, clinging, tummy aches, refusal to leave your side, poor appetite, restless sleep and even outbursts and tantrums.  This means the ‘downstairs brain’ is registering threat – and is acting accordingly. They key stressor for children is separation from the most significant grownup who is their protector. 

Here's 10 tips to help (compliments of Parenting Expert Maggie Dent, from www.maggiedent.com)

As a starting point, it is useful to explain to kids that new things, places and people often make even adults feel those same feelings of being a little unsettled or anxious.

Young children usually have strong imaginations and there are some small techniques that strengthen the connection to Mum or Dad while they are away can help lots: 

1.     You could help them create an imaginary protector – They imagine having their huge protector with them while they are away from you! I have two free downloads that could help here  http://www.maggiedent.com/content/free-downloads

2.     Fill an empty, clean, small container with a lid with kisses from everyone they are fond of, and tuck it in the bottom of their back pack.

3.     As they leave home always place a kiss from mummy in the same hand, left and daddy in the right … it is also magic and stays there all day.

4.     Practise sending them rainbows of love from your heart to theirs at recess and lunch and ask them to send one to you when they miss you.

5.     Put a really small stuffed toy – maybe smelling of your perfume, Dad’s after shave or with a lipstick kiss – in bottom of backpack. Again they don’t feel so separate and alone.

6.     Draw funny pictures on their lunch bags.

7.     Take a small bite out of their sandwich.

8.     Teach them how to take 3 big breaths and breathe out the butterflies hiding in their tummy or gently rub their tummy telling the butterflies they are safe.

9.     Teach them how to calm themselves by singing 'Round and Round the Garden' in their hand while making circles in their hand, just as you would do – music and touch trigger feel-good hormones.

10.   Help build a special connection to one teacher or teacher assistant who can nurture their transition.

These tips can be modified to help children going on school camps too!

FIFO and Parenting Adolescents

Raising Teenagers in today's world is no easy business, and the added complication of Fly-In/Fly Out Lifestyles can make it harder.     ECU are doing research in this area, and have a website with tips for FIFO Families.

http://www.chprc.ecu.edu.au/projects/raising-adolescents-developing-strategies-for-fly-infly-out-parents/overviewhttp://www.chprc.ecu.edu.au/projects/raising-adolescents-developing-strategies-for-fly-infly-out-parents/overview

One Mother's Phone Contract with her Teen

To My 13-Year-Old, An iPhone Contract From Your Mum, With Love

Posted: 12/28/2012 5:15 pm

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good and responsible 13-year-old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mum" or "Dad." Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.

xoxoxo,

Mum

PARENTING IDEAS TO PREVENT ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IN TEENS

BeyondBlue:    Parents and Guardians Webpage:    Parenting Strategies.

Anxiety and Depression in teenagers is on the increase.    The National Depression Prevention organisation Beyond Blue now has a webpage for parents/guardians, to suggest ways of preventing these developing, and what to do if they already have.

A

SAFE SCHOOLS HUB: info for parents

http://www.safeschoolshub.edu.au/for-parents

Check out the National Safe Schools Framework's SAFE SCHOOLS HUB:  main focus is primary students, but messages are sound for all ages.

Ask.fm......or preferably DON'T!!

It's the weekend: time to relax and get away from the social pressures school can bring.  Or so you think.  However, when unwelcome social contact can now access you in your home, in the park, in the shopping centre.....wherever you access your mobile device, there is no longer such a thing as a safe place, UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO MAKE IT SO.    

Ask.fm is a Latavian based site that allows users to pose questions for others to respond to.  Innocent enough at first glance, but so easy for young teenagers to post first and think later.   If you think YOUR child would never do anything so foolish, it may be because (a) you have forgotten how immature you were at 13 (b) you certainly didn't have the internet then and the temptations it brings.

As parents we want our children to like us.   We want to think the best of them.  We don't like to think they would do things we wouldn't approve of.  But the truth is, our kids are just human too. And they don't have the maturity to understand the consequences of some of their actions, especially when it's as easy as responding to a simple questions.

Do these jeans make me look fat? Does she really like me? Who are my real friends?

These are just some of the questions that get asked on ask.fm, a social media site that allows users to invite anonymous answers. Kids put those kinds of questions out there in the hopes that they will learn the “truth” from people who don’t feel compelled to spare their feelings.

They hope the “truth” turns out to be good news: No, you don’t look fat. Yes, she truly likes you. I am your real friend xoxo.

But too often, it doesn’t work out that way.

Launched in 2010 as a rival to similar sites like Formspring and Honesty Box, Ask.fm has since surpassed them in popularity. The Latvian-based site reportedly has over 40 million members. The site can be linked to Facebook and Twitter, so questions can be posted to friends and followers. Ask.fm has courted controversy because it doesn’t have any of the reporting, tracking or parental control processes you can find on other social media sites. 

Some schools in the UK and Hong Kong have sent out letters to parents advising them not to allow their children to use Ask.fm.

What do parents need to know?

• Sites that allow anonymity reduce inhibitions. Kids who wouldn’t be cruel face-to-face and don’t get to see the consequences of their actions may feel justified saying hurtful things online.
• Seriously consider telling your children they are not allowed to use Ask.fm. For more information, stories of bullying online and support from other parents dealing with the fallout from ask.fm-related incidents, check out this popular Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/AskFmShouldBeDeleted.
• Whether you allow your child to use the site or not, have a conversation with them about civility online, flaming, and how anonymity might change how people act. 
• If you choose to allow your child to use Ask.fm, show them how to use the privacy tab in their settings to block anonymous posts, so that all comments are linked to the names of account holders. 
• Users can also create a blacklist to block comments and posts from those known to be cruel and/or aggressive online. 
• If your child chooses to link Ask.fm with their Facebook account, they can adjust the settings in Facebook so that posts are seen by the following: public, friends, only me or custom settings (allowing them to choose specific friends). 
• Supervise your kids’ activities online, especially on sites such as these. At minimum, you should have their username/ password and sit down with them once in a while to monitor what’s happening online. 
• If your child is involved in a bullying incident on Ask.fm, tell them not to respond. The best option is to delete the app and account. Unlike Facebook and Twitter, Ask.fm does not have any formal reporting mechanism, so you cannot get the perpetrator blocked by the site.